Thursday, February 10, 2011

My Dorm Duty

It was my second semester of my freshman year.  At the beginning of each semester each college student receives a dorm duty (a daily chore, if you will) to perform every day for the duration of the semester.  Sweeping the bathroom floor was my duty for my very first semester... a relatively pleasant duty, indeed.  However, it became time to get a new chore, and one by one we drew numbers out of a bag (no peeking allowed!).

I got kitchen trash.  Ok, no big deal, it's just trash.  Halfway through the semester getting up earlier than everyone else just to get my chore done on time became monotonous, but hey what can you do.  There was aways next semester.

The time came to "cast lots" once more and we drew numbers out of the bag.  To my dismay, I got trash again!  This time, however, I would be taking out bathroom trash, so it was a nice break from the smelly kitchen leftovers.  Little did I know the nastiness that could be found in an innocent looking bathroom trashcan!  That semester was a time to "toughen myself up" by dealing with the many evils that lurked in bathroom trash, of which I will spare you the details.  Oh well... next semester would surely be better.

Now, I had a plan this time.  When the bag passed me, I would take up a number, drop it, and then pick up a different one!  The past two semesters I made the mistake of keeping the first number I drew, but I was smarter this time.  I followed through on my plan.  I picked my number and went to see what my duty would be... no way.  Trash again?!  Another derivative from the same root, "hallway trash" had its own woes, like people throwing 44-oz. cups of ice in a flimsy trash bag and not even think about the fact that ice melts and makes the bag leak!  

The next semester came, and I earnestly prayed for a different dorm duty.  I decided to try my drop-and-pick-again trick once more; coupled with prayer, I was destined for success!  Well... maybe not.  Again, I had hallway trash. (groaning) Ok, this was beginning to really get annoying.  Not only did I have to get up earlier and deal with leaky bags, but it seemed like the dumpster moved an inch further back every day!  I began to imagine inventions that would take the trash out for me.  A wheelbarrow on a track... pinning the trash bag to a giant clothesline... Buying a remote-controlled truck with 200-ft signal to carry the trash away... 

It's Spring 2011... I've been taking the trash out since Spring 2009 and I'm ready for a break.  This time I don't even request a particular dorm duty, I just beg God to spare me from trash.  I couldn't bear it one more semester.  The bag is passed, and I grab the first number I feel.  You'll never guess what I got.

Bathroom trash!!!!!

Really?  Really??  I was so depressed I cried.  I begged, I pleaded, but alas, to no avail.  And so, here I am, taking bathroom trash out every day, in wind, rain, and snow storms.  This is my 5th semester taking out trash -- that's 2 1/2 years, people!  About that "unwritten rule" that only men are to take out the trash... LIES!  

I'll probably die taking out the trash.  I'll get struck by lightning or eaten alive by raccoons!  My casket will probably be a me-sized dumpster.  I like pink and brown... make sure it's pink and brown.  And don't forget the snot-filled tissue roses to throw all over my plot.  You might as well use an upside-down trashcan as my headstone.  But make sure that has pink and brown in it, too.

I've decided that I'm a kidney in the Body of Christ.  Kidneys clean out trash!  There you go -- it's ME!  Whoopie!  I've found my place in this world!  My destiny: to cleanse impurities!
I thought you might get a kick out of my dorm duty saga.  It is pretty funny!  I'll be SO happy when I don't have to do trash anymore, though.  I've given up on ever having a normal chore again for the rest of my college career, but it's ok because Tim's already promised me he'll take out the trash when we're married. =)  YAAAYYY!!!  I think he feels sorry for me, LOL. =D


  1. I guess I can use this post to show my daughters that if they practice at home now, they'll do a great job at taking out the trash when they get to college!

    Hope you have a nice weekend!

  2. Oh my goodness! I have no words - but plenty of laughter :) We had a similar way of choosing dorm chores, and for 3 years I got to clean the bathroom showers. Yep. Ugh.