My Favorites: You Might be a Redneck If...

You think the last words to the Star-Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.

On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

You've been on TV more than five times describing the sound of a tornado.

Your parents met at a family reunion.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

Your child's first words were, "Attention K-Mart shoppers!"

Directions to your house include, "Turn off the paved road."

You mow the front yard and find a car.

You've ever made change in the offering plate.